Adoptive Family meets Birth Family

Since my 1st memory, I had always known that I had been adopted. My parents were told during the adoption process that it was best for a child to always know the truth and not be surprised with it later on in life. So naturally, they told me as soon as I could hear it.

I was 5 weeks old when they adopted me, which was considered a “closed adoption.” This means there is no connection between the biological family and the adoptive family. I had no knowledge of my biological family, but I did know that the same two parents that had me also had a girl together about four years earlier that had also been placed up for adoption, who, to this day, has not been found. I pursued trying to find my biological sister when I was 25 and ended up finding my birth parents instead. That story is all for another day, but with all that being said, this Thanksgiving was unusually special for many reasons. The main reason, is that the parents that raised me, who I call "Mom" and "Dad" got to meet my birth Dad and his HUGE family for the first time.

My birth family hasn't gotten everyone together because by this point there are nearly 70 people to coordinate. We had almost everyone together from my family as well, minus my youngest children, sadly. Unfortunately my birth Dad recently had mold poisoning and is developing dementia because of it. He has to live in a hospital and be supervised 24/7. So, this was sort of a last chance for everyone to see him and get together. It is truly shocking and heartbreaking to see how rapidly the decline is happening.

My birth Dad came from a family of 9 children. He was #6. The 1st born was a daughter that died of starvation as a toddler. She died in the arms of my birth Grandmother in an Indonesian concentration camp in the 1940’s. Three other children were born in Indonesia after they were freed and amazingly, my Grandparents found each other again. They were Dutch / Indonesian and decided to go back to my Grandmother’s family in Holland where they went on to have the rest of the children. When my birth Dad was 8, they immigrated to the United States and landed in Oklahoma. Their 1st choice was California but my birth Grandfather also chose Oklahoma, where they ended up, because he was convinced, that's where cowboys came from.

The day after Thanksgiving, the oldest of the 8 children presented to the rest of us, part of the family history. She told us what life was like growing up. We all sat in awe of what they went through. It definitely gave us all a deeper appreciation for the ease and comfort of the current American culture we live in. It seemed the majority of the household duties fell on the oldest daughter and son. They went from wearing flip flops and tropical attire in Asia, to little woolen booties inside wooden clogs, often stuffed with newspaper for extra insulation in Northern Holland. Talk about a culture shock! Most of the siblings are fluent in many languages. They spoke fondly of all the unique memories, which included the the 8 children, 2 parents AND a German Shepherd all squeezing into the family car... which was a VW Bug!

The youngest daughter, who was really the one that made this entire gathering happen, and who I would consider to be the “glue” of the family, spoke of the 1st English word she learned when they moved to the US. A boy at school called her stupid and she proudly came home to tell her mother.

This is a picture of my two half brothers, my birth Dad and my two oldest sons the night after Thanksgiving when we all went dancing. The similarities are unbelievable and I will talk about them more later. We had SO much fun together. They are just so easy to be with.

My husband, Travis, remarked to me how amazing and unusual it was to see how inclusive and unified the entire family was. He said that he felt so welcomed and accepted. It made me think about how the entire family holds such dramatically different and seemingly opposing views on just about every topic... from politics to religion and just about everything between. Despite these differences, one of the common bonds that probably brought them all together was gratitude.

It seems that love and grateful hearts have a way of dispelling offenses or disagreements.

This Thanksgiving was definitely one of those moments when time seemed to stand still, yet it was over in a blink.

This is a picture of me with my sweet half sisters, who are currently still in High School.

Travis caught much of the day on film for me and made a video that you can find on our media page. It starts with my Dad driving as we were on our way to the celebration. He is also speaking later on while hugging my birth Aunt (the glue that made this all come together). My birth Dad is walking with me in the video as he is smiling that smile that has always reminded me that I am the apple of his eye. He remembered me, but unfortunately did not seem to understand who my parents were as he met them.

It was all such a surreal experience. I'm excited to share more of my story and although I'm adopted I really feel an incredible connection and sense of pride in both my families. Adoption really can be SUCH a beautiful thing.

Check out the video that my husband made of the event! https://youtu.be/ujky1CkNM68